Tuesday, December 2, 2008

"Not Me" Monday...er, Tuesday

A little late, here.

I did not go to a Mom's club craft playgroup yesterday with my two kids, turn them loose, completely ignore them, and then sit down on the floor in the midst of the other moms and kids and cry for about 2 minutes. I did not make jokes about spiking the kids' snacks and drinks with vodka (I spelled it out, at least; instead of shouting "VODKA!", I asked for the "V-O-D-K-A" in front of all the other little cherubs. Unfortunately, some of them are homeschooled and rather adept at spelling.)

I did not make these vodka jokes in front of a guest who is (was?) considering joining our Mom's club, but who now may avoid us because she fears we are a band of screaming alcoholics.* I did not realize about 43 seconds too late that Ava was eating glue out of a plastic container with a Popsicle stick, like it was a spoon or something. (Hey, at least she's practicing her eating and fine motor skills....)

And when we were warned a day ahead of the playgroup that there would be permanent markers at this craft and to dress our children accordingly, I did not intentionally dress Liesl in her University of Illinois garb, thinking that it just may accidentally get covered with markers and have to be thrown out. (Oh, I am going to be in so much trouble for that one....)

I did not eat three pieces of pie on Thanksgiving Day. And when I went to Weight Watchers on Saturday morning, weighed in, and realized I had gained a pound, I did not act surprised.

When I had about 90 pounds of laundry to do this afternoon, I did not casually step over all of it, ignore it, and build a fort for my kids to play in. And when Liesl asked me to join her in the fort, I did not crawl inside and pretend to go camping and have picnics for 40 minutes. Finally, when my husband arrived home, I did not place the back of my hand my hand dramatically on my forehead, drop to a fake faint on the couch, and exclaim in Southern Belle fashion about what a rough day I had, therefor trying to make an excuse for the 90 pounds of laundry overtaking our family room and my lack of dinner preparations.

Have a good (and honest) week, everyone.

* All joking aside, I did have a nice chat with this prospective member after my vodka monologue. I'm about 97.2% sure she knows I was joking, and I am 100% sure that she did or has felt the same way as I did that Monday morning. I know that many of my FAMC friends read this blog, so rest assured: If she's scared of joining the FAMC after our Picasso Playgroup on Monday, it's not (only) my fault.


Jackie said...

Great post! Life can be tough with two toddlers. BTDT. Right now I have three teens and it doesn't get easier. LOL

Gail said...

Jackie,no truer words!! Oh,Rebecca, BTDT,I think a lot of my days were like that.The laudry and vacuuming are the 2 crooses I bore when the kids were small,and I bear them to this day [but they're smaller ;o)]And I don't think there IS a kid who didn't eat glue,just some parents who didn't observe it,and some teachers who refrained from mentioning it :o)